Fun Star: University gears up for 2022 centennial
This article is a work of satire, and is not intended to be taken seriously in any way. Any resemblance to actual events or real people is purely coincidental, and should not be regarded with any degree of seriousness.
Following the success of last year’s centennial, The Board of Regents has announced there will be a follow-up centennial in 2022.
“This is the real deal folks,” stated an email addressed to students on April 1. “This is the big one, our hundred year anniversary.”
A press conference was held in the Wood Center Ballroom with UA President Jim Johnsen following the announcement. Members of the public filed in to ask questions and express any of their concerns regarding plans for yet another centennial celebration.
“Didn’t we already have a centennial? Wait, did the school not open in 1917?” Thomas Doughty, a sophomore history student asked at the conference.
The centennial Doughty cited took place in 2017, when UAF held a year long celebration based around the fact that 100 years before the state legislature agreed Alaska should probably have a university and that people could build one if they so chose.
“The first centennial was more about celebrating the concept of the university being born, the idea that one day there would be a college. This next centennial will be to celebrate when the school actually opened in 1922,” Johnsen clarified. Johnsen went on to explain that this next centennial has been part of his plans to restructure the university system all along. Apparently, the UA president has incorporated centennials into his Strategic Pathways Initiative.
If all goes according to Johnsen’s initiative, there will be another centennial in 2024, to celebrate the first time students graduated from the college, and yet another in 2072 to celebrate the first time the university celebrated a 50th anniversary.
These many centennials will ensure that UAF is accepted by the public as a historic institution and therefore eligible for various grants. Johnsen urged students to “just go with it.”