Fun star: Video (games) killed the storyteller: Mario Kart Tour

This article is a work of satire, and is not intended to be taken seriously in any way. Any resemblance to actual events or real people is purely coincidental, and should not be regarded with any degree of seriousness.

Racing games are not uncommon, but one shines above the rest and that is Nintendo’s “Mario Kart” which started in 1992. “Mario Kart” is a long coveted video game that many millennials are familiar with. However Nintendo has come to the recent realization that driving a small car or “kart” around a track over and over again may become boring for some gamers. Due to this possible chance of boredom, Nintendo has decided to add a new story mode to their newest addition of “Mario Kart”, “Mario Kart Tour.” I recently got ahold of “Mario Kart Tour” from my second cousin twice removed’s roommate that used to work for Nintendo, and I’ll just start off by saying that it’s amazing.

The game begins with Luigi calling his daughter Rosalina to tell her that he is participating in a final bank heist with his brother Mario. Luigi meets up with Mario and the rest of their team, Wario, Bowser, Yoshi, and Toad.

Upon completing their heist without a hitch the team drives out to Sweet Sweet Canyon to celebrate their final successful heist. This is when events turn sour. The crew is betrayed by Bowser and he throws a red shell at Luigi, thus killing him. After these events take place, the group disbands and mourns Luigi.

Rosalina puts together a plan to get the heist money back with her father’s old crew. The crew does laps around Bowser’s castle in an effort to distract him, and it works. Not only is Bowser distracted, but he gets into his own kart and begins to chase the crew down.

Mario and Rosalina use this distraction to retrieve all of the gold coins that Bowser stole from Luigi. After filling their karts with gold coins, Mario and Rosalina join the others. Bowser eventually gives up, and ascends into the sky in his kart that turns into a spaceship, the crew sees Bowser leave in his floating cosmic castle and swear to follow him. This is how the story mode for this game ends.

Dialogue/voice acting: 10/10

The actors that play all of the characters in the Mario games return to reprise their roles in this installment of “Mario Kart.” It was a joy to hear so many voices that I used to hear when I was younger. Not only are the voices old favorites, but the amount of acting ability that went into each line is superb.

The tensions between Mario and Bowser over the death of Luigi are inspired and intense. Rosalina is equally intense over the death of her father and the tension is palpable. Not only was Rosalina trick Bowser in to believing she’s interested in him in order to get specs on his castle was interesting, but I specifically enjoyed her quoting her own father by saying “I trust everyone. It’s the devil inside them I don’t trust.” Because of the dialogue being so interesting, I gave it a full ten.

Story: 5/10

I had a constant feeling of deja vu when I played this game. I could swear that I’ve seen this story somewhere else before, but I just cannot place where. Because of this feeling of familiarity I gave the game a five overall. It felt too familiar and therefore a bit too simple.

Plot accessibility/understanding: 7/10

Accessibility for this game is pretty high. I feel that many people would understand the narrative, especially since it’s so much like some other thing that I cannot quite place right now. However, because of how straight forward the plot was, I feel that most gamers will connect with the characters they’ve been racing with since 1992.

So “Mario Kart Tour” isn’t just doing laps around the racing genre, but stealing gold coins and killing off one of their main characters. Not only is the game veering away from the racing genre it is also clearing the track with all of the bananas, shells, and bob-ombs.

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