Shia’s Solutions – Lemons and Climate Change

 

Q: “I was trying to eat my lemon during one of the lectures yesterday but everytime I tried, it felt weird to take a bite and like the other students were judging me. When would you say is the perfect moment to eat my lemon during a lecture? I was thinking of chewing with my eyes wide open while I stare at the professor to make sure he knows I am still paying attention. Would that be acceptable? I don’t wanna risk to suddenly be not kewl anymore.”

Shia: Maintaining eye contact with the professor during lecture seems like the best way to achieve your goal of eating a lemon. Lemons aren’t usually eaten whole so students may be judgmental due to their inexperience, you shouldn’t take this to heart. Due to the fact that lemons are so sour, I would recommend being conscious of your facial expressions at this time to reduce onlookers and criticism. Good luck in your lemon eating ventures!

 

 

Q: “I am haunted by a recurring dream — every night I see a redneck type of a guy squatting in the Matanuska holding a human-sized Chinook salmon. While the dude is full of self-content, the salmon’s bulging eyeballs are rolling in a caleidoscopic whirl begging me to end his suffers and save him from the bitter destiny of a trophy fish. Would you say the dream has a meaning? Dream telling aside, would you support UAF students teaming up for redneck-free waters in Alaska?”

Shia: Your dream can be interpreted as your calling into a field dealing with environmental justice, and wildlife. Trophy hunting is seen as a large issue, stemming from greed and domination. One would say that because Alaska is already seeing so many effects of climate change it should be residents top priority to preserve and protect the population of our wildlife.

 

 

Q: “Some weeks ago, a fellow student started to show me pictures of her cat. I honestly didn’t mind at all and I have looked through all of them (the cat wore a pumpkin costume in one picture but I’m not sure if you would call that a costume because it was an actual pumpkin and the cat looked kinda mad). Anyway, she has now started to text me pictures of her cat, too, with weird role-playing captions like “just chilling out in the sun dreaming of catnips lol” and I was sitting on the couch with my dog when I got it and now my dog thinks I am cheating with another pet. How can I resolve this without hurting anyone’s feelings? I really like my dog.”

Shia: The jealousy of ones pet can feel like a stubbed toe, but it isn’t the end of the world. If you would like to stay in the good graces of your dog you should introduce your pet to the cat that has peaked your interest. This will help them to familiarize the scent of the animal and understand that you respect their place in your life as your primary companion. Although cats and dogs can be sworn enemies, this could spark a long lasting friendship.